The answer, luckily, is also simple — now that we've prepared this handy Gliffy flowchart for you. It will guide your eye through the maze of possibilities with the speed of Clint Dempsey charging downfield (fingers crossed).
In case you haven't been paying attention, the Americans have been impressive. They beat the Ghanaian Black Stars 2-1 and then pushed the Portuguese around for 90 minutes, even though Portugal rudely managed to score a goal at the very beginning of the match and another in the final seconds to bring the game to a 2-2 draw.
On Thursday, the United States has their final game in the Group Stage against Germany — who slaughtered Portugal 4-0 and tied with Ghana 2-2. That means the Germans are almost definitely advancing. The fate of the Americans however, is less certain.
To understand what needs to happen for the American team to advance, paint your face red, white, & blue, give up fast food, name your unborn daughter Tim Howard Whatever-your-last-name-is, and read this handy flowchart:
(Click through to view full size)